then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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