Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
