What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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