Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
