Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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