NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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