We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
