a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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