idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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