She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
