we're blogging at a bar
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
