I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
