The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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