My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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