you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
