I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
