their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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