were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
