After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
