I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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