Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
