apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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