FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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