Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
