She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
