I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
