Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
