Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
