Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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