you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
