Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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