Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
