Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
i think im in europe. pls send help
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
