this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
