the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
