you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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