I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
