I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
