Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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