You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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