Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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