oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
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