Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
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