Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
