He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
