kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
