i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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