Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
