They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
