You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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